I just found out through a letter from WesternU that I was not accepted for admission for the fall. Although in my heart of hearts I knew that I wasn't going to get in, it was hard to not feel disappointed. Reality set in that I had yet another year to spend in limbo. To be honest this was not a part of my plan. My plan consisted of four years of college, one year off, and then grad school. Unfortunately, one year turned into two and now two is going to become three. At times it feels my life is on hold and I can't get on with living until I get into grad school. Needless to say, my plan or my ideas for my life are not what God has in store for me.
I think as Christians we grow accustomed to use a certain vernacular. It's easy to tell someone, "Trust in the Lord," or "God is sovereign." These phrases might be used as a shield to prevent us from getting too involved in someone's life or they might be spoken from a genuine heart. We use these phrases so often that we become calloused to their true meaning and the depth of the truth behind them. When you're in the midst of the unknown and you feel the darkness of uncertainty enveloping you, it's necessary to be reminded of God's sovereignty and truth. It's good to hear someone else remind you that God's truth is final and failure is not. My dad reminded me that failure is not final and it's our failures that shape us into who God wants us to be. Romans 8:28 says that "...we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to His purpose." This is a wonderful promise but let's not overlook the next verse which says, "For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son." It's easy for me to get caught up in my goals and expectations for my life that I forget the true purpose of my life. I exist to glorify God in what I do. I am on a journey to be conformed into the image of the One who saved me. Lastly, I am to share the Good News with others.
Our treasures are not stored in this world but the next. What we go through here on Earth is only for a short season compared to what awaits us. In Romans 8:18 Paul says, "For I consider that the sufferings of the present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." My dad also reminded me of Job 2:10 when Job told his wife "Shall we receive good from God and shall we not receive evil?" Job made a valid point. The Lord is abundant in His blessings and grace and we are more than happy to receive them without question. Should we not also welcome sorrow and grief with open arms? We should and we must. Job sums up how our attitude should be in Job 1:21, "...Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." Nothing we have in this world is ours. Our intelligence, our strength, our abilities, and our accomplishments don't belong to us, they belong to God so He can do with them what He wishes.
Even though I'm still a little disappointed that I didn't get accepted, I'm excited to see what the Lord will do in my life this year. I anticipate doors opening and closing, new relationships being forged and old relationships being strengthened. My prayer is that I learn how to be a better servant and that my desire to serve greatly outweighs my desire to be served.
My cupcake business gives me hope for new opportunities and a new way to minister to others.